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Exploring Rape Fantasy
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In the start, it is essential to emphasise that there is no such thing as rape that is voluntary. Play rape, also known as rape fantasy or rape play, is a kind of sexual role-playing in which one person assumes the role of the submissive (the victim), while the other partner assumes the role of the dominant (the attacker). All of the activities that stem from having a rape fantasy are completely voluntary. There is no such thing as rape play, rape fantasy, or forced sex fantasy.
These concepts are all misleading synonyms. If a person is giving their permission to engage in sexual activity, then it cannot be considered rape or forced sex. It’s possible that the thought of being coerced into having sex is what turns on a lot of people, but it doesn’t mean they truly want to be raped.
Having said that, giving in to rape fantasy does not make the play any simpler to follow even if it is encouraged. If one is thinking of engaging in rape fantasies, there are a lot of different aspects and factors that need to be taken into consideration.
Is it Common to Imagine Being Rape?
The prevalence of rape fantasies may surprise you. A study conducted by Bivona, Critelli, and Clark (2012) including 355 women from two state colleges in the southwestern United States indicated that 62% of participants reported experiencing rape fantasies of varied frequencies and types. Lehmiller (2018) questioned 4,175 persons in the United States and found that 63% of women and 50% of males admitted to having rape fantasies.
Types of Rape Fantasies
Rape fantasies are not all the same. There are different strengths of them. It may be nothing more than a pleasant surprise when you return home from work and find your spouse waiting for you behind the closed door. Sometimes people desire to be coerced into sexual activities they otherwise would not want to do. It’s possible they’d even like being hurt little; maybe they’d enjoy leaving with a few bruises as a reminder of their playful resistance, or perhaps being strangled as part of the role-play. Anything in between and beyond these instances is fair game for a rape fantasy.
Even Now, Consent is Required
Consent is crucial when talking about rape fantasies or coerced sex role-playing. Because of this, it is not rape, and the people who participate are not rape victims or rape seekers. When engaging in role-playing, partners should establish ground rules. If certain limits aren’t established, there can be no agreement.
Where do we draw the line? Remove potential settings. Sometimes the front door is always unlocked or the automobile can be entered at any time of the night in the parking lot, but access to the office is strictly forbidden. What about certain deeds, though? Do we have a whole picture? Maybe all forms of penetration are OK, but punches, chokes, and other methods likely to result in blood loss are off limits. Planning forced sex role-playing and all the intricacies of consent requires much thought and preparation.
Stigmatization
Some people have a problem with anybody being sexually aroused by rape fantasy, but this is true of all sexual appetites. People who don’t experience pleasure from this kind of desire have a hard time comprehending its appeal. And sadly, when some people aren’t interested in a certain want, they humiliate others who are.
You should make it clear to your spouse or prospective partner that you find forced sex play to be sexually stimulating, regardless of their views on sexuality. Getting back to the issue of consent, if one partner is unwilling to participate in rape fantasies, the other partner’s willingness to participate becomes moot. Failed or evasive communication on this topic might be the last straw in any relationship. Some of the reports from my own study participants highlighted difficulties in communicating inside relationships or in locating a mate based on compelled sex needs. There are some who find fantasies involving rape to be disturbing. A female participant (age 23) shared her experiences with me on her difficulties in finding a suitable partner:
Personally, I’m really kinky. Ready to give everything a go. I like a challenge. If I end up with a bruise after you shove me, smack me, or choke me, it’s proof that your love for me is genuine. For my rape fantasies, it’s perfect. The problem is that it’s not easy to locate people who are ready to give in to what I desire. Fear of harming myself is what really pisses me off, however.
Social Psychology Behind Rape Fantasy
What may be the reason behind getting aroused by rape fantasy? Numerous internal elements came up in my investigation. A few of them included:
- Feeling a sense of control in reaction to having been sexually attacked in the past. In my own work, it is a rare. I have only discovered two people who mentioned prior trauma as a place of genesis. One participant informed me that her desire was to role-play the same circumstances in which she was raped in order to relive it with a complete feeling of control over the event. Much more study on this relationship between prior sexual trauma and rape fantasy is required.
- Others are interested in rape fantasy merely because of a feeling of sexual adventure or prolonged sexual exploration in a controlled context. People I have met that describe rape fantasy in this way tend to have good sexual attitudes and demonstrate confidence in their sexuality. Rape fantasy is all part of their cognitive and behavioural sexual exploration.
- Rape fantasy gives a justification for certain persons. If part of the role-play consists of their being compelled to participate in sexual acts that are extremely stigmatising, they think they have the justification that since they were forced to do it (even in play with full agreement), they cannot be held liable for desiring it. This justification may be utilised with one’s spouse or with anybody who finds out the person participated in that specific sexual conduct. While you may be successful in persuading your buddy that you should not be stigmatised for what you were forced to do, you will still be vulnerable to the rape fantasy stigma.
Rape fantasy is extremely complicated in its structure and social interactions. Psychological and societal effects are vast. While it may be unsettling to some, more study must be dedicated to this issue. It is also important to dispel the myths surrounding rape fantasy and its practitioners. Those interested in sexual health might benefit from realising that rape fantasies need permission and that individuals who find them appealing do not want sexual assault. Those who admit to rape fantasies are often sexually confident and have an upbeat sexual outlook.
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