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The Power of Surprise
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Each of us gets a new chance to make a difference in someone else’s life every day. Michael Rousell, a psychologist, discovered an unusual method to achieve this sort of influence by tapping into the potency of surprise.
The Power of Surprise
What does “surprise” mean?
When something occurs that we weren’t prepared for, our brains send out an error signal called surprise. Freezing oneself and concentrating on potential dangers and benefits was a necessary adaptation for our ancestors. Those who were immune to surprises were also incapable of responding or learning rapidly enough to ensure their survival.
Surprising someone causes the brain to release dopamine, a chemical that has a significant impact on one’s ability to pay attention and be motivated. Put another way, our brains place a high value on the experience of being surprised. We are prompted to take stock, take note, and acquire new knowledge.
What can surprise do?
Rousell’s favourite takeaway from his extensive study is presented in his book The Power of Surprise. The element of surprise is essential in defining moments. The experiences we have had that we consider formative have contributed to our unique sense of self. Our identities are shaped by these things.
Every person has a unique perspective on the world, shaped by their unique set of experiences, most of which are part of a long-term process of steady self-perception development. According to Rousell, formative experiences are like a revolution in that they cause a dramatic upheaval in our sense of identity.
Take this as an illustration: It took Hector a long time to conclude that he was not cut out for leadership. As soon as a colleague informed him, “Most people on our team simply want to hear themselves talk, but you listen and make sure everyone feels heard,” he had a complete 180-degree turn of mind. You motivate me to do better since you are such an exemplary leader. The unexpectedness of that remark was the spark that sent Hector on a path toward a more positive self-perception. Hector recategorized his previous actions from “people-pleasing” to “excellent leader” after hearing this, a result of confirmation bias. The outcome was not merely an adjustment to his way of thinking, but rather the impetus for “self-fulfilling prophesy” behaviours like taking on greater leadership responsibilities via his own will.
Here’s another case study from Rousell’s book: When Samantha’s swim coach unexpectedly appointed her team captain, she saw her reticence as a liability. Although she is usually reserved, her words will definitely be worth your attention, he assured you. When she realised what had happened, she felt a surge of strength that she kept to herself. Her outlook and actions changed immediately and permanently.
Hints for Surprising Others into a New Perception of Themselves
However, not all unexpected events are made equal. To effectively use surprise, Rousell recommends the following three actions, supported by research:
Think about a perceived flaw: Find a self-criticism of another’s that you think might need some editing. One of your students may have poor self-esteem because she thinks she learns slowly, one of your employees may feel he lacks originality, and one of your partners may criticise themselves for being too cautious.
Turn a “weakness” into a “strength” by zeroing in on the corresponding strength. It’s possible, for instance, that the student who believes she learns slowly is really quite methodical. He is a very rational worker who falsely believes he lacks imagination. The other side of your partner’s care is their meticulousness.
Bring the news: Finally, tell them how you really value their strength. Following Rousell’s advice, you should keep your communication brief and to the point, as if you were reporting an objective fact. The more you talk about it or try to make it seem flattering, the less of an impact it will have.
Just to provide one illustration:
- You were the last one to complete the exam today,” a teacher said. What impresses me most about you is your attention to detail. The world will open up for you because of this trait.
- “You helped us much by pointing out some of the problems with the way we were approaching that discussion. With someone as sensible as you in the room, I can be certain that our plans will make sense.
- I can’t express how much I appreciate your attention to detail and commitment to our safety. I can’t think of someone more caring than you are.
Intriguing people might lead to a shift in their own self-perception. But most importantly, it allows us to alter our own perceptions of ourselves. Your ability to surprise others has just been upgraded, and you may now venture out into the world with the confidence and pride of others in your wake.
Summary
The Power of Surprise is a book by Michael Rousell. He argues that the element of surprise is essential in defining moments. Experiences we consider formative have shaped our sense of self and shaped our perspective on the world. Each person has a unique perspective, shaped by their unique set of experiences. Intriguing people might lead to a shift in their own self-perception. It allows us to alter our own perceptions of ourselves.
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